The Undercover Perfectionist

Hello and Welcome Everyone!

This month I have the privilege of introducing you to my friend and fellow writer, Leslie Newman. Leslie has a wonderful blog titled Journey to Imperfect. It so happens she is a recovering perfectionist like me! Leslie has a passion for helping us see that we are all different and unique. In her own words, "every person will follow a different path in working through these kinds of issues. But although we have different circumstances, we have the same God and He is all about restoring us and bringing us to completeness through His Son Jesus." Leslie believes prayer is the key to overcoming the barriers that prevent us from becoming exactly who God designed us to be. When you visit her blog, you'll find fantastic posts as well as free resources including a Prayer Notebook, Hope Kits, and more. 

For the month of August, Leslie asked me to write a guest post for her blog because of my extensive experience with perfectionism. Below you'll find the link so you can read the full post there.  Please feel free to share the post with anyone who could use the encouragement to dabble with imperfection! Let Leslie and I know how it resonated with you.  Fondly, Terri

The Undercover perfectionist


If you know the phrase, "Do unto others as you would have them do to you", then you know that it's a call to love others as you would love yourself. But, do you know there's an alternative version of that life mantra? It goes like this, "Do to myself what I would not do to others".
 
As an undercover perfectionist, I employ the latter mantra when I heap unrealistic expectations upon myself that I would not and do not expect of others. You can't see my perfectionism because you're not subject to it. You, my friend, do not have to live up to the high bar of perfection I have set for myself. That bar is for me alone and there's no mercy from me to me when I fail to hit it. What good can come from that?
 
None.
 
I can't thrive when I subject myself to that kind of pressure, striving, and harshness.
 
If the undercover perfectionist wants to challenge their perspective, then three questions should be explored:
 
Who defines perfect?
Why is perfection the wrong goal?
What's the personal impact for the undercover perfectionist?
 
 
 
 

Trust without Boundaries

Hello and Welcome! To set the scene for this topic on boundaries, my focus is on the verse found in Luke 7:39. From the New Living Translation, it reads: When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “if this man [Jesus] were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.” Keep this in mind as I'll paraphrase this verse later in the post. My hope is you will glean new insights and encouragement!

Boundary markerBack in ancient days, boundary markers were a common and significant sign to anyone who came upon them. These markers were placed by the landowner and designated the boundaries of that land. Moving or removing boundary markers was the equivalent of stealing or theft (Deuteronomy 19:14). As the boundary markers could not be permanently affixed to the ground, respect for the markers was expected.

It was an issue of trust.

We practice this ancient custom in our modern world. Every aspect of our life contains boundaries of some kind whether in sports, business, or personal relationships. A boundary line is established because there is a need. For instance, in sports it has to do with what’s in and what’s out. It’s about the football receiver balancing on tiptoe down the sideline, shifting his weight infield for those ever-precious inches. Or, the Olympic gymnast rapidly tumbling and landing with centimeters to spare at the edge of the mat. It’s about setting limits--go up to the boundary line, but no further. Cross the line and there are consequences.

Tennis court boundaryIn our personal relationships we set invisible boundary lines for ourselves and/or for others. The wounded hearts puts into place boundary lines and markers as a protective measure. These lines mark the foundation upon which impenetrable walls are built. Nothing gets past the boundaries.

Nothing.

And if that’s the case, is it really protection? Or, is it a prison? What exactly sparked the need for these boundary lines?

It’s an issue of trust.

Trust without Boundaries Luke 4.18Jesus was invited to the dinner, but she was not. They labeled her a sinner and the wounds were deep. What drove her to walk in, uninvited, and make a scene? Tears flowed as she knelt to kiss his feet. What did she hope to gain by going there? Acceptance? Healing? Humbly, she poured the oil on his feet. With love she wiped it away with her hair. And the dinner guests watched. They knew who she was and wondered why Jesus did not.

Jesus knew.

He set no boundary line that she could not cross. And, she came to him with a trusting, wounded heart. Jesus met her need and she received salvation, freedom, and peace. (paraphrased from Luke 7:36-49, NIV)

Trust - Take My Heart Lord
There’s no need for boundary lines with Jesus. The day I brought to Him my tears and my wounded heart, I found healing in His presence. That day I rested secure at His feet and found acceptance. The power of Jesus was released creating new boundaries and a secure shelter. My trust in Him and His love for me freed my heart in a way nothing else could. Walls were torn down and markers were no longer required. I found salvation, freedom, and peace. And, so it goes today.

There is wonder and beauty in an intimate relationship with Jesus. It’s like no other. May we be willing to explore the landscape of our heart in search of boundary lines no longer needed. These lines and markers that keep us from Christ-given freedom and peace can be torn down. I was willing and there’s been no regret. There is no need to protect my heart when it’s in the hands of my Savior.

Please share with me how your relationship with Jesus brings wellness and healing to your heart. We’d love to be encouraged with your comments. If you haven’t visited the Hearts Encouraged Facebook page, pop over there and “Like” the page so you can see the occasional Live events that I post and other encouragement.

Fondly, Terri